Success stories

GCSE English Competition - Descriptive Writing Winner - Aziliz Brélivet

Tiny, navy blue and wrapped with love by Grandma, here was Lola the Xmas present for Penny. The aged woman had chosen a so decorated doll in the immense department store. She smelt like roses and was beautiful like a rare diamond.
How pleased the little girl would be!
The grandmother sent it by Mail. So, she marched quite a long way. At this part of the year, the sun was shining; the weather was dry but so freezing. The old lady felt so cheerful to send a present to her grand-daughter. After queuing for an hour at the Post Office, it was finally her turn to deposit her parcel. After paying twenty-two pounds to the officer, she eventually abandoned Lola in professional hands.
It was without knowing what awaited her…
The premises were dark, chilly and quiet. The room seemed to come from another era and smelt like mold. The night had fallen. All the parcels were waiting to be sorted. There were: tiny, regular, gigantic, squared, rectangular, and triangular ones. Lola felt alone among the others. In the early morning, the light was turned on in a dazzling illumination. The robot work could finally begin. The sound of the machines was deafening, unbearable and irritating. The delicate doll found herself thrown on a treadmill in one second. Being shaken wasn’t pleasant at all, was it? “Why am I lost in this place?” wondered the frightened little packet. At this moment she fell into  an enormous cage with other miniature boxes.
Lola heard the noise of the truck which started in a terrible roar. She didn’t know it but she was on the road to London. It was a very long way. The route was so sinuous, serpentine and snaking. The journey was extremely chaotic. Furthermore, the odour of the lorry was totally unpleasant: a musty smell could be scented. The child’s toy could get a sniff of the airless atmosphere. “When will I be free again “ she thought. Exhausted, she ended up sleeping. When she woke up, she was in the muscular arms of the Postman who was ringing at Penny’s door in Camden town. Finally, Lola’s nightmare was at the point of being finished.
Wouldn’t you be happy to get such a wonderful present as the little girl’s ?

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